Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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