he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
