I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
