He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
