$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
