And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
