I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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