question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
When are your genitals available?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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