Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
