I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
