Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
