We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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