and you said cock pushups were impossible
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
