Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
