I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
