we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
