Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
