i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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