They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
