3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
