oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
