Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
