My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
