OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
