Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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