Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
