Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
