I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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