omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
