We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
