i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
