id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
false alarm, still single
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
