the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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