I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
