Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I AM VODKA MAN
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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