Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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