Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
