i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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