He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
sex in a hospital.. check
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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