I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
