You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
