looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
