She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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