I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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