i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
