we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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