Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
