Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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