you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
