just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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